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Funny Excuses People Give to Miss Work

No matter what we do or how much we try, after every Sunday comes a Monday. With Monday comes the start of the work week- whether we’re ready for it or not. We have to wake ourselves up and snap ourselves out of the weekend mindset so that we can come in guns blazing, ready to plow through our work. Well, that may not be exactly how Monday’s pan out for everyone, but in theory that’s how a Monday morning should roll. Instead, we wake up groggy-eyed and tired wishing that Monday was really Sunday so you could get just one more day to sleep in just a bit. While most of us pick ourselves up and start the day, some of us hit that Monday where it’s just impossible to get yourself moving again. It’s these days that we reach into our bag of excuses looking for one that will fit best.

A while back Spark News discussed how much is too much when it comes to missing work. Everyone has the occasional, real sick day but everyone also has those days where you’re not sick but you just can’t bear to go to work. In order to be real with ourselves, we should admit that we have all done it at least once. Be it as school or at work, playing hooky just once is a likely occurrence. When it becomes once every two weeks, then it’s a problem. However, that’s a whole other story. Seeing as though it is Monday, we thought it would be a good idea to take the edge off of the day a bit and take a look at some of the most ridiculous excuses people have given to miss work.

It certainly depends on your work environment and the kind of management style your company has, but some employers are serious about their employees calling off work. In fact, a recent survey showed that 31 percent of employers check-up on their employees when they call out of work. Some require you to provide a doctor’s note, some will randomly give you a call during your sick day off ad a select few will go to great extremes to make sure you aren’t playing hooky. Think: driving past your home to make sure your car is there and you aren’t lying. I’d have to say that’s a bit creepy, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. It’s never a great, or even good, idea to lie but if you think your boss holds this creepy gene, then you should definitely never play the hooky card.

So, what are some of the ridiculous excuses people have used? Take a look at some of these excuses that were actually given by employees and do your best not to use them yourself.

-“I donated too much blood and I am too weak to come into work.” This could hold some weight, but really? No.
-“I was riding my bike and I hit a turkey.” This one is just too weird to even try to find some witty comment.
-“I didn’t want to lose my parking space in front of my house, so I couldn’t come in to work today.” Find another spot.
-“I had a heart attack this morning, but I am fine now.” Really?
-“I was kicked by a deer.” It seems that the wild animal is a favorite go-to.
-“My dog is stressed and I can’t leave him.”
-“I swallowed too much mouthwash this morning and now I feel sick.”
-“My psychic told me to stay home today.”
-“There was a death behind my house last night and the police kept me up all night investigating, so I didn’t get any sleep.”
-“My wife burned all my clothes, so I have nothing to wear to work today.”
-“I stubbed my toe and it hurts to walk.”
-“I had a hair transplant that went bad.” Eeek!
-“I have to stay home to mow my lawn so I can avoid a lawsuit from the homeowner’s association.”
-“I got my finger stuck in a bowling ball and won’t be able to come into work tomorrow.”

SOURCE: Savvy Sugar

Nicole Nicholson

Nicole is the Content Editor for Spark Hire and mainly writes for and edits the work for the Spark News blog. She graduated in 2010 with a BA in Journalism from DePaul University in Chicago, Illinois. She has a passion for writing, editing, and pretty much anything to do with content. In her free time she frequents the Chicago music scene and writes reviews on shows for her own personal blog. Connect with Nicole and Spark Hire on Facebook and Twitter

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